|In Pursuit of Happiness 4|
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change” …. Wayne Dyer.
You and only you are responsible for your life and whether it is a happy one or not. True happiness is being in alignment with and content with, the life you’re living in this moment and being grateful for what you have.
All different kinds of obstacles and challenges continuously come into your moment, but these are not the cause of your happiness factor, it’s how you react to them that makes the difference between happy and unhappy, sorrow or joy.
If something that you didn’t expect or you don’t like comes in your moment, your reaction is like “Why is this happening to me? “This shouldn’t be happening to me, I don’t deserve this!”. And then your thoughts create emotions like disappointment and anger and these in turn create more thoughts and then more emotions. Before you can realise it, all this is causing you anxiety and possibly depression. If any circumstances come in that you had hoped or wished for, something that you’ve been dreaming of for a while, then you instantly accept it and it makes you happy.
Your moods are not caused by the challenges that enter your life, but by what your mind is saying about it and the thoughts and story it builds around it, the reaction. This is because your ego mind is still in charge and is responding through past experiences. This is a reaction (re acting) habit and will have to be changed to a response by the real (present) you. Realise that you are constantly in the present, in the NOW moment, for this is all there is, where you've always lived. To do this, stop, and be aware of your reaction, then ask yourself why am I reacting like this? is there any need for this sort of reaction?
A good example of this is when you go shopping at the supermarket. You walk around putting items in your trolley (in the moment), then you possibly meet and have a chat to someone that you know. Everything is fine and you are enjoying the moment... until you arrive at the tills to pay!... all six isles have a long queue. Popular reaction is… “Oh no! look at the long queues! All these people! Why are they all doing their shopping at the same time as me? I’m going to be stuck here for ages now, and I’ve got to be ‘going here’, ‘going there’. I’m supposed to be meeting a friend at 11o’clock and it’s 10o’clock already!! I’ll never make it!” and by the time you get to the cashier you’re going to take your anger out on them, and because the cashier has just served several people just like you, he or she will react angry back and then you will get even more angry as you leave to go and load the car and drive to meet your friend in an angry mood.
Why do so many people react this way? There’s not much you can do in this situation, apart from leave your trolley to one side and walk out? (and I’ve seen this done on more than one occasion). So, accept the fact that you’re going to be delayed with your plans and look around while you are waiting, experience everything that is going on around you, in your present moment. Look at other people complaining about the queue, especially the ones at the back, (because you are in the middle of yours by now). Look outside, see people complaining because all the trollies have gone (time to be grateful, that you have a trolley and that they still have all this to go through yet). That should bring a smile to your face.
When you encounter an event/situation that you can’t control, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power is. Inner Beauty (Happiness) is felt when you are aware of what’s happening right now without wanting to change it. So, say/affirm to yourself… From now on, for each situation that I encounter in my moment, I choose only to see it’s positive side.